Profile: Chris Birt
History
- Member for
- 2 years 5 weeks
Recently written
I Get Paid By a Ten-Year-Old
One of the guilty pleasures of motoring in Minnesota is the ability to crank the tunes in a car while watching other butts freeze. What, after all, is more aesthetically pleasing that the sight of female ski racers in Spandex?
I am afraid to admit it's what I do during the winter months while my kids ski race. I sit in my mid-sized, pimping SUV, burn fossil fuel and tune out to a fairly hefty road tune collection I've acquired over the years.
Kill me now. Go ahead.
At least it gives me time to think.
Buying Velveeta. Bailing On Volvo.
With all the carnage being reported about cars these days, I'd like to call your attention to the best ad on TV AND the sorriest car company of late (without good reason). The ad is done by Kraft for Velveeta cheese. I can't seem to track it down, but it shows a Mom in a supermarket cutting stuff in half with a saw. This ad is good. I know good when I see it.
Gay, no. Sausage, yes.
Before I discuss the importance of driving dynamics and the utter lack thereof in the Kia Rondo, I must share a discovery. I realized on one of my links that this car is being marketed to my gay brethren. The advertising is about as subtle as Harvey Firestein.
As if niche marketing can overcome the utter lack of driving dynamics that plauge this ride.
Best Performance By An Actor. While In Minivan.
Particularly for those pesky late teens (16 or older, no younger) that sulk in the back of your family hauller.
Top 10 Cars to Buy. Ever. And of all time.
Absolutes. I love them.
This is a recent discovery, however. Till very recently, the only way I could trounce a full-time forum--like MN Speak--with post traffic was with salacious words.
Now I find that all you have to do is issue is an absolute. You don't have to prove it but you must invite your enemies to meet you face to face so you can shove it down their throats before they reveal themselves to be little girls with asexual names like my own. This being said, let's get to an even more useful list than my previous post.
