The daily digest of Twin Cities culture | Secrets of the City

Sex. Money. In-laws. To the enduring litany of couples' dilemmas, I nominate a new entry: IKEA.

IKEA does not discriminate. IKEA'S troubling influence transcends race, religion and sexual orientation, requiring only two people in a relationship. Like all archetypal clashes of domestic life, it's wicked inevitability starts innocently enough.

The neat, large farmhouse was different from what he remembered. Even though he had been back for a few months already, it still took him by surprise some mornings: the wide plank, light wood floors, butcher block countertops in the kitchen, cool tones on the walls, books everywhere, fresh coffee brewed by the time he stumbled in from his bedroom. It was a bright house. Clean everywhere, new towels hanging in the bathrooms, even his sheets coming up crisp and changed every few days, his laundry hung in the closet, folded into the dresser.

In ancient Rome, handwritten copies of a daily gazette called the Acta Diurna were posted in prominent public locations to keep citizens informed on everything from military developments to the latest divorces—and you can bet which part was read most avidly. In colonial America, the New World’s first newspaper, published in 1690, made a splash by publicizing a rumor that the king of France had royally screwed his son’s wife.