The daily digest of Twin Cities culture | Secrets of the City

Minnesota is staring deep into an ever-widening abyss that, unfortunately, has gone from staring blankly back to a potentially $7 billion glare. And to find solutions to address the monumental clusterfuck that has become our state budget, the DFL held listening meetings across the state this past week looking for a magic bullet lodged in the minds of the "common people."

In other words, they're crowdsourcing the deficit.

Since the dark days of Clintonian diddling in the Oval Office, American citizens have done naught but despair at the state of democracy. From townships to state government and in our nation's capital, people were far more willing to trust stock brokers and mortgage lenders than to put even an ounce of faith in government's ability to do right by them. And who can blame them? From Jack Abramoff to Larry Craig, politicians firmly cemented a reputation for being all too willing to throughly sodomize anyone and everyone to get what they wanted.

Even the most inebriated striped-shirt wearing douchebag unsteadily signaling for a cab after closing time at Drink can offer something for those truly motivated to accentuate the positive. So it is with the stimulus package recently signed into law as Minnesotans strain to understand what's in it for them.

The average politician maintains a tenuous grasp on reality, only deigning to view the world with lucid eyes every few years in the all too brief window of time surrounding elections.

Three months is long enough for Minnesota's unemployment rate to rise more than half a percentage point. It's enough to start and end a war in Gaza. It's even enough time for Christian Bale to go from being known as the much-lauded star of classics like Dark Knight and Swing Kids to the egotistical batshit douchebag who blames his bad behavior on his deep immersion in John Connor's mind.

Dear State of Minnesota,

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During Gov. Pawlenty's state of the state address, in a nod to the era of post-Obama bipartisanship, he made a point to mention that "...today, we're not Democrats. We're not Republicans. We're Minnesotans."

Only a few hours into his presidency, the mystic Obama aura is being felt far and wide. Like Elrond forming his fabled Fellowship of the Ring, bringing hobbit, elf, human and dwarf together under one banner, united in common cause to defeat the foul Sauron, so too has Obama's influence already started to bring together hereditary enemies. Israel hastened its pullout from Gaza. Obama recently embraced McCain as a brother and advisor.

The Defenestrator had the distinct pleasure of sitting down with Minneapolis' top executive on the eve of announcing his reelection campaign for a wide-ranging chat focusing on the future of the city and what steps he's taking to help Minneapolis thrive despite economic times that could perhaps best be described as Winehousian.

The U.S. military trains its soldiers to deal with trauma in the field using materials they may have on hand in absence of a medic. A rifle, for example, can be used as a splint to stabilize a broken leg, or a plastic wrapper can be used to seal a sucking chest wound, with the pressure differential. Unfortunately, judging by Gov. Pawlenty, Sen. Bonoff and Rep.