The daily digest of Twin Cities culture | Secrets of the City

Guest writer Beth Hammarlund is editor in chief of l'étoile magazine and much buzzed-about sci-fi/beauty blogger at A Tiny Machine.

Just when I thought it was safe to cancel my Strib subscription, they surprise me and put something on the front page that actually 1) contains information that I care about; 2) contains information that elucidates a larger story; and 3) nudges at least one piece of television-like spot news dreck out of the paper. (Actually, I’m only guessing about point number 3.)

I am not exactly sure what I am trying to say with my headline. While I won't pick nits with her politics, I fear that if she, my fellow sister, were to gain the white house (I may be the only that holds a candle--for my own reasons) she will raise the CAFE standards even further than 35MPG.

The Saint in me says she is right.

The Devil says, "death to her and all her pets."

Why must she remain so polarizing?

If astronomers and astrophysicists are correct, we've got another 13-16 billion years until the universe collapses under its own mass and hubris in a Big Crunch - making it all the more impressive that it has taken just a few short months for Sen. Hillary Clinton's world to implode, compacting itself into a fiery mass of universal healthcare and primary-hued pantsuits. And best of all, emanating from deep within the core of this soon-to-be black hole from whence no screams or painfully contrived holiday

I used to think hating Diablo Cody was only a regional pasttime. This is, after all, an area lousy with writers who have not written Writers Guild of America award-winning screenplays or gotten incredibly rich and famous or appeared on David Letterman. And sometimes, when the wind is blowing in the right direction, I swear you can hear about 500 of them grumbling: I wrote for City Pages once years ago. . . .and I could have been some skanky sex worker if I were willing to stoop that low. . .

Don't think all the Hillary Clinton hullabaloo has gone unnoticed by the likes of me. Truth be told, I've been very busy at work this work, whereas my inner life has been consumed by a rage caused, for one, by the MPD's horrific, paramilitary-style antics, but also by the revelation that certain political conservatives hate older women.