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I have sold the Mercedes. I was on the verge of, as car guys say, getting upside down on the payments*. No car is worth that. Ever.

Particularly not when you can buy a luxury SUV for pennies on the dollar these days and STILL get a few notches above 20 MPG. While that figure will never cut it with the Sierra Club, it is juicier than the projected return on future Treasury debt.

And what luxury! I just bought a Lincoln Aviator--the baby Navigator SUV for just shy of 17k, fully loaded, with 32k on the tach. She even talks to me in hushed, hussy like tones. (Lucious leather, lustrous mahogany, lapidary switchgear, feast your eyes. Actual photo.)

Thanks to this gorgeous baby SUV I now owe nothing more than thanks for its 303 HP, DVD player with headphones and Neal Diamond CD left, forgotten, in the glove box. Its enough to put me in touch with my inner Jewish Elvis. 

Schuzt. 

* As a rule of thumb, I never want more than 20k into a car. When you figure what I actually paid for the Benz (a deal so good I can't print it) and what I thought it would be worth for the first three years, I was at about 20-25k max. Well, times have changed for Mercedes E500 and 550s. My car had lost almost 50% of its value in the first 18 months. I figured I would end up holding the bag for 10k at this rate.