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After years of campaigning, petty lawsuits, mavericks, lipstick besmirched pit bulls and McCarthy-esque meltdowns, we've arrived at the electoral day of reckoning. For all the millions of dollars spent to bring the will of the people to heel, the power now rests in the unwashed hands of the American public, or at least their duly appointed plenipotentiary representatives in the Electoral College. And now that your voice has been heard and you're eagerly devouring the election returns so lovingly delivered by cable news networks desperately eking one more night of sky high ratings out of the circus that our elections have become, there's naught left to do but drink.
Yes, whether celebrating or mourning the latest exit polls, Americans are in dire need of a massive cathartic bender. And luckily, bars throughout the metro area are happy to oblige. And in these difficult economic times, a hefty bar tab is the patriotic duty of all men. So whether you're joining the Drinking Liberally crowd at the 331 Club, or drowning your sorrows in your free pint of Schells from the Nomad World Pub, join your fellow man and raise a glass to the next president of the United States, the next Minnesota senator, and even the next representative for District 6 - whoever they may be.
And for those Communists who may be gathering in homes and apartments indulging in Costco-fueled collective inebriation, we bring you a drinking game to help pass the long pundit-filled hours until the polls close and we declare this fresh hell known as Election Season over.
These, of course, are but a sampling of the potential reasons to drink one-self into a coma until the next election. Feel free to add your own in the comments below. After all - the candidates rewrite the rules of the game as they go along. Why can't we?
Baseball:
Warning Track Power by Alex Halsted
Sports:
On the Ball by Britt Robson
Weather:
Dude Weather by Jimmy Gaines
Fiction:
Write Now! by Terry Faust
Hockey:
Spazz Dad by Todd Smith
Style:
Hook & Eye
Misc:
Is This News?
Fiction:
Yo, Ivanhoe by Brad Zellar
Food:
Consider the Egg by Stephanie March
Wine:
Beyond the Cask
Food:
Food Fight!
Media:
To the Slaughter
Misc:
Outrage by Staff
Food:
Chef's Table
Guest Commentary:
Just Passing Through
Humor:
Spazz Dad by Todd Smith
Cars:
Road Rake by Chris Birt
Commentary:
Read Menace by Tom Bartel
Society:
The Adventures of Melinda by Melinda Jacobs
Politics:
Defenestrator by Rich Goldsmith
Food:
Breaking Bread by Jeremy Iggers & Ann Bauer
Books:
Cracking Spines by Max Ross
Music:
Hear, Hear by Staff
Art:
The Vicious Circle by 6 Critics
Secrets:
Secrets of the Day by Kate Iverson
Theater:
Seen in the City by Staff
Film:
Talk About Talkies by Staff