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For eight long years, District 6 has been unphased by Michele Bachmann's fantastically lurid tales of secret terrorist plots to partition Iraq into a combination terrorist training camp/ultra top-secret headquarters for Cosco, crusades against the Communist threat posed by compact fluorescent light bulbs and her latest triumph - placing #3 on Esquire's list of the Top 10 Worst Members of Congress. Who could possibly have predicted that her concerted effort to appear on cable news programs like "Larry King" and "Hardball" to discuss topics she's wholly unqualified to comment on might backfire by actually providing her with the national attention she so craved to fill the void left by a mother who never gave her the love she so desired?

Unfortunately for her, Rep. Bachmann got exactly what she wanted. Her joyously McCarthy-esque calls for investigations into the anti-American attitudes of Congress and elsewhere gave her the attention she so richly deserved. Just three weeks ago, no one would've guessed that El Tinklenberg would be three points ahead of St. Cloud's favorite daughter a week from the election. But the baleful stare of the nation seems to have finally caused District 6 to wake from the stupor caused by the toned legs and melodically hateful voice of Michele Bachmann. Could noble hobbit El Tinklenberg, as City Pages reporter Bradley Campbell so eloquently put it, storm the quaint shire of Stillwater and cast aside the evil pall that has fallen over Anoka?

Either way, to commemorate this moment, The Defenestrator brings you these fine wearable reminders of the cause of Bachmann's current dire straights.

So buy a T-shirt! If District 6 finds itself under the just and fair dominion of Tinklenberg for the next few years, you'll have a souvenir to remember the occasion. And should the Bachmann bacchanal stretch on, covering the land like the corrupting gaze of Sauron and his orkish hordes, buying a T-shirt will provide you with armor that is proof against not only the Biblical batshit insanity that is Michele Bachmann, but also the brutal winter winds stealing precious warmth from your tender liberal flesh.

And if nothing else, you'll seem a lot more intelligent and current than the douchebag with the faded faux-vintage Lucky Charms t-shirt from Urban Outfitters.