The daily digest of Twin Cities culture | Secrets of the City

Related Content

• Gwar Gets Political
• Bring on Brokaw -- Lehrer Doesn't Deliver the Goods
• Ain't No Party Like a Republican Party
• Country, and Republicans, First
• Protest Music for the New Millenium

Photo by India Bell

Last week's RNC was billed as the first stage of America's future. Never mind that it's likely 50 percent of the electorate viewed it more as a divisive festival of bile and irrationally putrid ranting and fear-mongering the likes of which are unrivaled even on these dreaded pages. And even though Sen. McCain offered a gentle caress to the nation's nethers, followed by a few precious moments of sweetly whispered words of cooperation and kinsmanship aimed at convincing the American public of his bipartisan intentions on the final night of the conservative carnival, it was painfully apparent that, much like their compatriots in Denver, Republicans have no plans to listen to their opposition for even a moment.

Unsurprisingly, many in the voting public, even the partisans of either side who'd sooner drug mule for Rush Limbaugh than admit the other side's viewpoint has any redeeming value, wonder why our nation's politicians are unable to work together to solve our nation's deeply troubling social and economic issues. The average American would, quite frankly, enjoy seeing some Donkey on Elephant action if it meant cooperation and harmony in the halls of Congress. Would not more effective legislating take place if our elected leaders were basking in interspecies afterglow?

But as the years march on, this scenario grows more and more unlikely. And part of the blame for the partisan rancor can be laid squarely at the feet of one man - a man who attended the convention but, like the elder beings from outside time and space written of in the tales of Howard Phillip Lovecraft, could only be glimpsed on the periphery - for to see him in the light of day invites only madness. We speak, of course, of the creature known as Newt.

Newt Gingrich, the former Speaker of the United States House of Representatives, was indeed sighted at the convention. And as progenitor of the modern era of partisan politics, it would make a painful sort of sense that he would put in an appearance at the RNC. While his role in making politics the crushingly painful morass of shattered dreams and hopeless division has been largely eclipsed by the Machiavellian dance of Karl Rove and his disciples, Newt's contributions can't be discounted. After all, it was the combination of Gingrich and Dick Amey that created the "Contract with America" that led to the breaking of a 40-year long Democratic majority in the House of Representatives. As for how this feat led American politics to a state where a brace of pistols is all it would take to trigger a reversion to the days of Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr, it's quite simple...he made politics personal.

Sure, there have been cults of personality before, and politicians have always paid lip service to their stern duty to the American voter. But this was different. In the election of 1994, Newt used the Contract with America, which promised everything from welfare reform to balanced budgets and tougher crime laws, to turn over 54 seats in the House of Representatives and deliver a Republican majority. But it wasn't what he promised, so much as the way it was promised, that was significant. Rather than tell Americans what the Contract would do for them, he used the promises in the Contract to highlight how spectacularly the Democrats in Congress were failing their constituents. And rather than framing it in genteel language and tiptoeing around these failings, Gingrich attacked at every opportunity.

The Democrats weren't prepared for this assault, having become fat and lazy whilst snacking heartily on the ever fruitful loins of the American taxpayer. And sadly, there was much to the charges Newt was leveling. They weren't prepared to respond to the blistering attack and were by no means united in how to fight back. In short, they were fucked. Gingrich handily convinced voters that the Democrats had failed in their duties and that only he could lead them to the promised land. And the trick was that, much like today, there were plenty of promises bandied about in his Contract with America, but very little in the way of specifics of how to get there. But the Newt and his followers didn't need specifics when a blistering vilification program was in place against the competition. He left the Democrats discredited and demonized and demoralized, and Americans were happy to vote for the Republican agenda no matter what, as long as it meant they could vote against the much reviled Democrats.

Today this technique has been honed to an art form. Karl Rove and his disciples have taken the attack politics pioneered by Gingrich and increased the fire and brimstone, promising naught but death, destruction, and visible panty line to anyone who might dare to vote against "America." In reality, these efforts and techniques have done nothing but make it even harder for voters to be educated on the issues, let alone trust their elected officials. Now, with less platform and issues-driven content than even the Contract with America offered, we're treated to a bile-fueled volleyball match with no Misty May or Kerri Walsh in sight - only wrinkled bodies politik and a lipstick-wearing pit bull attending painfully staged conventions that serve as nothing more than media carnivals. And with no Tilt-A-Whirl to be found at either event, these were profoundly crappy carnivals.

So thank you Newt. Thank you for breaking an entrenched majority that had become fat, lazy and felt entitled to its power. But why'd you have to do it in a way that forces us to thank you for helping us arrive at a new generation of politicians who think personality is more important than issues; thank you for helping provide us with a political system that makes it easy for 50 percent of the nation to think the other 50 percent is smoking some mondo fucked up shit; and thank you for helping to lead America forward in a way that eventually polarized the nation, deadlocked Washington, and helped distract the American public with bright shiny objects long enough to bring to a screeching halt the progress we managed to make on virtually every front for the last 20 years?