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Riding on Guest Defenestrator Max Ross' shirttails, I am featuring myself as this week's Guest. Thanks for your hospitality, Rich.

Last week it was reported that Pamela Anderson emphatically said of Sarah Palin, "I can't stand her. She can suck it." And there's video, complete with exaggerated eye-rolling, to prove it. Her gripe with Palin has less to do with the Alaska Governor's stance on reproductive rights or foreign policy, more to do with her love of bearskin rugs. Anderson, the PETA spokesperson (unsurprisingly) unafraid of posing nearly-nude for her cause, has long been an advocate for animals' rights. And Palin's recent Newsweek spread has her proudly posed beside a bearskin-draped couch. Tsk, tsk. This comes in the wake of Matt Damon recently referring to Palin as "a really bad Disney movie," and countless Photoshopped pictures of Palin and her patriotic bikini.

Just yesterday Lindsay Lohan proclaimed for all her MySpace-reading fans that Palin is a "narrow minded, media obsessed homophobe." Her complete rant/ stance is far wordier, but gets muddled, what with the lack of punctuation, random capitalization, excess of ellipses... ... Nevertheless, she is momentarily taking the focus off her coke-addled boobs, and using what star-power still remains to endorse, you guessed it, Barack Obama. And this, in the wake of slightly-more-talented Scarlett Johansson's Obama endorsement/ emailing debacle. "I totally email with him, like personally." "No, she doesn't." "Well, whatever. I'm still totally voting for him, and you should too!"

This battle of the stars has reached epic, ethereal heights. What's-her-face Heidi Montag has gone on record as an ardent McCain supporter, much to his bewilderment. McCain tried to convince the (by sheer default) younger voting masses that he's totally hip, watches her on The Hills 24-7. And Paris Hilton was recently referenced in a McCain ad, to the disapproval of her campaign fund-donating parents.

While not a one of these stars is famous for his brain-power (although no one can argue the screenplay success of Good Will Hunting, and Scarlett Johansson is director Woody Allen's latest muse), each is using the tools that come fully-stocked in their Hollywood arsenals: MySpace blogs, televised interviews, the paparazzi full-court press, and the adoring fanbase clinging to their every utterance. Who's to say these endorsements hold any less water than those propagated by more revered "experts"? Just this morning those experts, specifically CBS News Chief Washington Correspondent and Face the Nation commentator Bob Scheiffer, said that Palin did "just fine" in her recent interview with ABC's Charlie Gibson. If "just fine" is what we're looking for in a potential President, we have suddenly, en masse, so lowered our expectations for this country that Photoshopped bikini pictures may be this ticket's very apex.